They say fairy tales are fantasies that don’t exist. But only after have been on a honeymoon with Noida can you believe in those dreamy stories…Coz you’ve lived one!
Ja simran ja jee le apni zindegi!!
Don’t get me wrong. I loved the experience I had here in my place, in my world, Noida …My home.
I got my first job, made amazing friends, to whom I still talk to them today, all here in Noida.
My school, where I worked, and had given my heart and my soul. And much more to my HOME, to my beautiful HOME. Even though I have moved on, still my soul lies there.
It was great! Things going on smoothly when one fine day I heard about the promotion plus transfer. I was in a dilemma, is it a good or a bad news? Sometimes “finding your fit” doesn’t happen right way.
I have to support everything. Leaving behind my life. My happiness.
I am not afraid of change. But leaving a city life, job, friends, surroundings, all of a sudden is indeed a shock and a great Pain!
I shuddered at the thought of migration of my soul to an unwanted, undesirable, unsociable place. It wounded my heart. My inner strength was shattered. All my things were scattered in a few moments. I had to leave my job and my happiness.
I came to this new place and immediately delved into the business of adjustments, repair work of our house and all this while heard the stories about furious snakes from neighbours. Perhaps, this is the Project life for first time.
It has been one and a half months now.
One fine day, I requested my husband to leave me for few days. I wanted to live my life. I wanted to go back to see my home. My place. To feel and to live a few moments, at the place I belonged. Here, at Korba, I had only got suffocation of my soul till now. A breathless life and loneliness. He agreed. I am very much grateful to him for this.
I was in train for the long journey back home from Korba to Noida. I looked out of the window. For the first I was alone and traveling. A first experience. First sleepless night. But with a dim joy in my heart I am going back home, where I belonged – Noida!
The morning breeze greeted me with tranquility. I could see my dreams. Busy life. I love this – being busy. Always doing something This gift had been given to me by my Noida. My home was waiting. For me.
No one can realize my happiness being there and my pain I was going through.
My struggle to do the work and to reach Noida – my home.
The memories of the place are mine. But I am no more with my memory. Everything seems now a memory.
I spent few days at my home in Noida, alone, and it was amazing how I smiled and felt when I was with the surroundings I liked. They were a part of me.
It was all normal. But there was peace. I cooked my food and lived simply. It was only seven days but seemed like an eternity. My sleep wake cycle changed to my liking. I slept during day and woke the nights. I spent my time cleaning and doing up the house. My house. The one where each corner, I had painstakingly planned and decorated with passion. I spent some time with my friends and it felt like I had never been away.
I could see the park from my bed. This was the park where my son used to play. For a moment, I waited for him to come back from the park but I realized he was in Korba and not Noida and that I was alone. This place was never such before. Life had seemed rosy and all things looked good. But suddenly everything changed. I drifted into day dreams of how I had spent my time in this house, and even though everything physically was still the same, the house and its furnishings, the view from the window but something had changed imperceptibly and fundamentally. There was a sense of temporary-ness in the house and its familiar surroundings. A feeling of impermanence and loneliness lingered around the house.
At this point of life I am alone, all things have literally scattered.
I hope to live my life with accessibility.
There are times, when I ask myself as to whether I am wasting a significant portion of my life. Whom can I talk about my emotions?
My mind continues to echo the numerous shortcomings of this new place – Korba. All I hope for in my life is that I continue to live of a life of substance and of meaning.
I am sure, my friends will continue to achieve milestones of success, but I will continue to grieve while I learn to make the most out of this mire.
I hope I will eventually learn to live without much expectations rooted in my relations with friends and family. My wishes and prayer for my friends who have always helped me prepare me for this big move.
Everyday we make memories, we love life. When we look back all we can see are the memories we created today. Clinging on to those memories are the only way to relive those moments in our hearts and in our mind again!!!!!